


A Gut Wrenching And Soul Nourishing Fic

by orphan_account



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Heavy Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Panic Attacks, Poor Irina Gurl, Sadist Author, Twoshot, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23354047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He buried his head in his sweaty palm and silently cursed himself. Silent sniffling slowly turned into violent, ugly, gut-wrenching sobs he couldn't control even if he wanted to. God, what had he done!Or: Irina has a panic attack after an argument with Tadaomi.
Relationships: Irina Jelavić/Karasuma Tadaomi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 156





	1. 2

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back!!
> 
> Warning: Panic attacks occurs in this work, so if you think it might trigger you, best AVOID it.

It had been such a trivial thing. A very small argument, the cause of which soon slipped from his mind. A small argument, closely followed by a larger one, with issues unsaid, buried deep inside, coming to the surface, faster than any of them could predict.

"You're just a stupid person in desperate need of life! You know why?!" Irina yelled, her face blotchy red, eyes full of unshed tears.

In any other situation, after seeing that look on her face, he would've stopped. He would've stopped, and opened his arms, ready for her to come crashing into them, as she had always done before.

Not this time. This time, he was too angry, too frustrated. Too hurt.

"Why, then?! Don't be shy, now! We both knew you aren't a scared little girl anymore! Or are you?!" Tadaomi yelled back, his voice nearly cracking.

He briefly saw a flicker of hurt in those usually bright blue eyes of hers. Now, they just shone with anger.

"...And you probably think people around you would make the adjustments themselves! Well, newsflash, genius! They don't! Not all of them!" Irina was ranting, she knew. And normally, she would never say these words out loud – mostly because she knew they weren't real. She was too angry to care.

"God, what do I even see in you?"

The moment these words left Tadaomi's mouth, he wished to take them back. Too late. He was the flash of surprise in her eyes, saw the way her jaw tightened. Saw the way he hurt her– in her eyes, in her body language. He knew, despite how angry he was, that he had just crossed the line.

"Sometimes," she whispered, "I ask myself the same question."

Her voice broke by the time she finished the sentence. Without sparing him another glance, she turned around and walked out of their shared apartment, the door closing behind her with a final, deafening bang.

* * *

Tadaomi stood in the middle of the living room, his posture going from tense, to deflated. Finally sinking down to his couch, a single tear pricked at the corners of his eyes. And finally, he let go, letting it stream down his face.

What had he done?

He buried his head in his sweaty palm and silently cursed himself. Silent sniffling slowly turned into violent, ugly, gut-wrenching sobs he couldn't control even if he wanted to.

After what seemed like hours, he decided enough was enough and tried to pull himself together. He needed to compartmentalize right now. He needed to find her. He had to apologize and hoped that she would be a better person than him and actually be able to forgive him.

  
They'd known each other for years. They had been dating for nearly two of those. He knew she had insecurities, he knew she never think she was worthy of him, for some strange reason, when in reality, it was _he who_ didn't deserve her.

Today's argument proved that.

She left their shared apartment, and there's one place he could only think of.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do leave a kudos or heart-warming reviews :)

Irina couldn't breathe.  
  
Come on, Irina, deep breaths. Just try. Come on, come on, come on. What's happening?

Whatshappeningwhatshappeningwhatshapp—BREATHE!  
  
Okay, okay. Let's try that. Deep breaths.

In. And out.  
  
And in. And out.  
  
"That's it, come on," she whispered to herself, her hand on her chest, trying to measure her breaths.

"He hates me now..."  
  
She couldn't breathe again. Her vision was clouding. Everything was too hot. Too cold. Too hot. Irina was pretty sure she was crying, but then again, she couldn't be completely certain.

He _hated_ her. He _despised_ her.  
  
He was with her out of pity, not love. He never love her.  
  
Did he? Maybe he did. He loved her like one loves a puppy; adorable and cute and one wants to play with it, but that's it.  
  
She could barely even see in front of herself, only vague shapes and sizes. Everything was out of focus, and it was as if she felt everything and nothing at the same time. Irina felt the soft cotton of her hoodie, felt the cold all around her. She felt the hairs on her forearms prickling. She couldn't breathe.

No matter how much she tried, she couldn't. Her lungs burned. Her heart burned. Her eyes burned.  
  
Everything burned. The walls were squeezing in. She was drowning, every sound muddled.  
  
"—na! Irina!" She felt a large hand touch her shoulder, the touch seething hot. Instinctively, she recoiled from the touch.  
  
"Irina, look at me," a soft voice said. Soft, yet commanding. Without a second thought, Irina looked at the source, her eyes focusing sharply, her breaths quick, short, not deep enough.  
  
She felt a gentle touch on her jawline, a caress on her cheek. She blinked twice, her gaze catching on. He was there, with her.  
  
He hated her...? She shut her eyes tight.

"Breathe with me. Come on," He said.

Looking around, Tadaomi quickly grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. "Deep breaths Irina, I believe in you,"  
  
With her eyes shut, she could still hear his soft, melodic voice. She loved his voice, but it had never been as calming as it was right now. She felt his chest rise and fall in regular rhythms, and subconsciously, she followed his lead. Ever so slowly, her breath evened out, and she was able to breathe deeper and deeper.  
  
"Look at me...please" he pleaded, one hand on hers, the other caressing her cheek. "I'm sorry..." he whispered.  
  
Her eyes widened, but he continued, not giving her a chance to respond. "I never really meant those words. I never meant any of it. I was just angry, and frustrated, and I took it out on you. It wasn't your fault," he whispered, holding her gaze. Cerulean met black, and she saw nothing but honesty, regret and sorrow.  
  
"...You don't hate me?" She eventually choked out, her voice raspy from the crying. And the attack.  
  
Impossibly, his eyes softened even more so, his smile as gentle as his touch. "I could never hate you."  
  
Tadaomi looked at her, finally, properly. Her eyes were red and puffy, he guessed about as much as his own. Her mascara and eyeshadow were smudged – remnants of tears. Her braid was nowhere to be seen, leaving her hair to fall down, framing her face and her back. He realized her hand was still on his chest, his hand covering hers, and he gently withdrew it.  
  
Tadaomi saw a look of confusion cross her face, which immediately turned into one of relief when his hand reached for her hair, and eventually, her cheek. She was beautiful. She leaned into his touch, letting her head rest on his palm.  
  
Out of nowhere, at least for him, she threw herself at him, burying her face in his neck. Tadaomi's arms immediately wrapped around her tightly, almost as tightly as she held him. She kept whispering I'm sorry into his neck. He quickly assured her he had nothing to apologize for.

  
"In arguments, both sides are at fault." Tadaomi mumbled, and she giggled.

He held her until his body went numb, and when she eventually untangled herself from him, she kept his hand in hers. He knew she forgave him, but there was still something very comforting about her touch. Her love.

"How did you know I was here?" She eventually asked, once they were near the exit."  
  
He looked at her and smirked, "In my family's shrine? The place we first kissed."  
  
She squeezed his hand. "The place you were officially no longer a lip virgin."  
  
He squeezed back. "Yeah."

Irina looked into his eyes. Where only mere hours ago, they were full of pain and regret, there was happiness, radiating and powerful.  
  
And when Tadaomi looked into her eyes, they were back to their beautiful bright blue, not even a hint of anger. Just love.

Everything was okay.


End file.
